Maybe Being Alone for a Little While is the Solution | No Nonsense November (7/26)
Solitude isn’t emptiness; it’s a path to clarity. Embracing time alone can reveal your true self, away from the noise of external…
As we approach the end of the year, there’s a natural pull to look back and evaluate: what went right, what went wrong, and where could we have improved? This time of reflection is often when we make changes in our lives — some for better, some for worse. But amid all this noise of self-reflection, there’s a valuable perspective we often miss: the importance of being alone.
No Nonsense November is a month-long commitment to stripping away distractions, focusing on personal growth, and cutting through the noise that holds us back. Each day, I’m diving into key reflections or challenges that encourage clarity and intentional progress. This isn’t just about productivity; it’s about embracing what genuinely matters, facing obstacles, and creating space for meaningful change. If you’re curious about the journey, check out the full explanation below:
In a world filled with constant feedback, advice, and influence, it’s easy to lose sight of our own voice. For those truly aiming to understand themselves and grow, this self-awareness requires stepping back from the crowd and cutting through the noise to reconnect with who we are without anyone else’s input. This paper isn’t about advocating isolation but about realizing the value of solitude as a tool for growth, reflection, and a deeper understanding of our own needs and desires.
Why Being Alone Can Help Us Grow
There’s a lot of good in having people around — family, friends, significant others, and colleagues who support us. And while strong relationships are important, over-reliance on external perspectives can be limiting. We risk depending on others to shape our thoughts, handle our challenges, or define our sense of self.
Spending too much time around others — even well-meaning loved ones — often results in diluting our own instincts. When we constantly seek advice or second opinions, we may find temporary relief from our problems, but we’re also giving up the chance to learn to solve them on our own. It’s like outsourcing a skill we never develop because someone else handled it for us. And the reality of life is that not everyone who is with us today will be around forever. When those people move on, we’re left with the issues we avoided facing alone.
The truth is that a second opinion can only be valuable when it’s balanced with a first opinion — our own. Relying on someone else’s perspective before building our own can give us a false sense of security. Over time, this repeated pattern can rob us of growth, weighing down our relationships and leaving us with unaddressed challenges.
The Strength in Solitude
We are, by nature, social creatures. Being part of a community, surrounded by people we trust, provides a certain comfort and security. But the purpose of community is not to replace our personal journey but to support it. To draw an analogy, think of a pack of wolves. They’re strong as a unit, capable of facing obstacles together, but each wolf still possesses the instincts to survive alone if needed. For us, solitude can serve a similar purpose: it’s where we hone our instincts, where we learn to trust ourselves, and where we understand what we’re truly capable of.
Unlike animals, humans have the added complexity of consciousness and society’s layered expectations. Our upbringing, cultural norms, and inherited beliefs shape us, but they aren’t necessarily who we are. To understand our true nature, we need time alone — time to reflect on what parts of our identity come from us and what parts are simply echoes of someone else’s influence.
How to Embrace Solitude and Discover Yourself
Understanding ourselves is a process that requires dedicated, uninterrupted time. Solitude offers the space to filter out the noise and focus on our values, goals, and unique qualities. But solitude doesn’t mean simply being physically alone; it’s about intentional, reflective time spent understanding ourselves deeply.
Start with simple practices that allow you to dig beneath the surface: journaling, meditation, and reflection. These tools help you explore your thoughts, confront your insecurities, and understand the motivations driving your decisions. Make it a priority to spend time away from social media, group activities, and external voices.
Over time, you’ll find that solitude becomes a space of comfort, even necessity. You may begin to reprioritize your commitments, learning how to say no to events or activities that don’t serve your personal growth. This doesn’t mean isolating yourself but intentionally choosing what to invest your energy in.
Facing the Fear of Being Alone
As you embrace solitude, you might find your circle shrinking, leaving you with more time alone than you’re used to. This can be uncomfortable, even frightening, especially if you’ve relied on others for validation or support. But this shift is a positive sign that you’re on the right path. Rather than focusing on what’s lost, see this as a chance to understand why you felt a need for constant company in the first place.
Solitude teaches resilience and builds confidence in our ability to face life’s uncertainties. It’s a training ground where we practice handling problems on our own. With time, you’ll find that the doubts that used to lead you to seek external help become easier to manage, and the challenges that once felt insurmountable seem more approachable.
Balancing Solitude with Connection
Ultimately, solitude is not about cutting people off or rejecting support. It’s about establishing a healthy balance between self-reliance and community. Once you understand yourself deeply, you can enter relationships with a clear sense of who you are, making these connections more meaningful and balanced. Solitude allows you to bring your own insights to the table rather than relying on someone else’s experience to guide your path.
You’ll find that as you grow in self-understanding, your interactions with others become richer, more intentional, and free from the weight of dependency. When you’re no longer seeking external validation, you can appreciate people for who they are rather than what they offer.
Closing Thoughts: The Strength in Solitude
Spending time alone, learning how to navigate challenges independently, doesn’t isolate us from others — instead, it empowers us to show up fully and authentically. When we strengthen our foundation, we bring a more grounded, resilient version of ourselves to each interaction. This self-reliance is like a core stability that makes our relationships more meaningful, not because we need them to fill gaps, but because we can share in them from a place of wholeness.
As you continue this journey of self-discovery and independence, you may find that the connections in your life take on new depth. Rather than relying on others to guide you, you’re choosing to share your growth and strength with them. By carving out this time alone, you’re not only uncovering your own identity but also cultivating a mindset that honors and respects the individuality of those around you. You’re no longer entangled in expectations or needing constant validation; instead, you bring a presence that appreciates and strengthens the bond without leaning too heavily on it.
Ultimately, the solitude you cultivate today becomes the groundwork for relationships that aren’t just supportive but are genuine and deeply connected. This shift allows you to stand firmly as yourself, resilient and self-aware, knowing that you’re not alone because you need others, but because you choose to walk this path alongside them.
Thank You for One Week of No Nonsense November!
We’ve officially hit a week into No Nonsense November, and reaching this point feels like a milestone worth celebrating. This journey is more than just a commitment to daily writing; it’s a process of stripping away distractions and focusing on core truths that often get overlooked. Each day, the insights deepen, and with every article, there’s a push to move closer to clarity, growth, and purpose.
To everyone who’s joined me on this journey, thank you for being part of these reflections. Your engagement, thoughts, and presence add so much to this process, reminding me that these insights aren’t just personal — they’re shared experiences that resonate beyond the page.
If today’s piece on finding strength in solitude struck a chord, I’d love to hear your thoughts. And if you’d like to dive deeper into this series, don’t forget to catch up on previous articles below — there’s a lot more to explore in the days ahead.
For more updates and content, feel free to connect on Twitter and follow along on Substack for additional reflections. If you’d like to support this work directly, you can also visit Ko-fi. And as always, I’m just an email away at me@mostly.media if you’d like to share your own insights or feedback.
Here’s to another week of meaningful, no-nonsense growth!
