Welcome to the Cage of Society: Abandon All Hope of Escape

Ah, you’re here! Welcome to the *Cage of Society*. I’ve worked tirelessly to ensure it’s as comfortable and confining as possible — just for you. Why struggle with chasing your dreams or exploring who you really are when you can live your entire life according to my perfectly curated set of expectations? I’ve designed this cage specifically to keep you from making waves, taking risks, or — heaven forbid — thinking for yourself.

Here, you’ll learn my top strategies for staying trapped, cozy and unambitious forever. After all, you don’t really want to escape, do you? Independence is messy, and self-discovery? Overrated. Trust me, you’re better off here, within the familiar walls of social norms and external validation.

In order to ensure that your stay in this lovely little cage is as comfortable as possible, I’d like to walk you through some ground rules. After all, you wouldn’t want to mistakenly think there’s an alternative, would you? By the time we’re finished, you’ll have everything you need to never question your place here again. Whether to stay or leave? Don’t worry, that decision has already been made for you. You see, freedom is overrated. Let’s dive into the guidelines that will guarantee your compliance — and trust me, it’ll be much easier this way.

Rule 1: Follow the Rules (That Aren’t Yours)

Now, let’s get one thing straight from the start: these rules weren’t made for you. In fact, they weren’t made for anyone in particular. But that’s the beauty of it. You see, the society you’ve been born into has been meticulously designed to make things as “average” as possible. We never bothered tailoring it to your size, shape, or circumstances. Why should we? It works well enough for most people, and that’s good enough for us.

Oh, you’re different? Well, isn’t that cute? My advice? Start getting comfortable with whatever we provide. If you don’t, you’re going to have an extremely unpleasant time trying to fit in. You see, we’ve been doing this for a long, long time. The rules aren’t here to make your life easier; they’re here to make things smoother for all of you… for the most part.

You might feel a little out of place, but that’s your problem, not ours. The molds, the tunnels, the paths — they’ve all been laid out for you, just like everyone before you and everyone who’ll come after. And let’s be honest, if you’re struggling to fit through those tunnels, that’s on you. It’s only fair, isn’t it? After all, society wasn’t made to cater to your personal needs or so-called “struggles.” It was built to keep the majority content, so don’t expect any special treatment.

Look, it’s not all bad. Once you get used to the discomfort, it’ll feel natural. You won’t even remember what it was like to question it. Just keep your head down, follow the rules, and eventually, you’ll stop feeling the need to stand out. Because, really, what makes you so different from the millions who’ve come before you?

Rule 2: Seek Validation from Everyone (Except Yourself)

Oh, you’re going to love this one. You, with all your questions, always so needy. If you’re going to question anything about this place, here’s a bit of advice: don’t bother looking inward. You really think your own feelings and instincts are worth anything here? Please. For the sake of everyone else, just stop trying to swim against the current.

Instead, why not ask everyone around you what the right thing to do is? I mean, if you’re so unsure, surely they must know better than you. After all, why would you, the one who clearly doesn’t fit in, think your feelings matter? Look at your family, your friends, your peers. Do they seem to have any doubts? No, they just keep their heads down, don’t ask any questions, and follow the rules. They’re doing fine, so why can’t you?

Go ahead, seek their advice. They may have absolutely nothing in common with you, but I’m sure their answers, based on their lives, will be super helpful for your unique situation. And if not? Well, at least you’ll feel even worse about how out of place you are. Perfect, right?

It’s dangerous to think you’ve got it figured out on your own, anyway. That kind of hope? It’s the sort of thing that leads people to turn around and walk in the other direction. Why would you want to do that when everyone else is going one way? I mean, your people have that saying, don’t they? “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you join them?” Well… would you?

Rule 3: Fear Failure and Never Try

Ah, failure. In a place like this, it’s the absolute worst. You wouldn’t want to be seen as a failure, would you? I mean, the stares, the judgment — people looking at you like you’re some kind of monster. It’s vile, it’s disgusting. That’s why I’d recommend you never attempt anything unless you know, with absolute certainty, that you’re going to succeed flawlessly on the first try. Perfection is the only acceptable outcome here.

I heard you’re a bit of a perfectionist? That’s just lovely! Keep trying to be perfect — it’ll serve you well in the cage. As long as everyone thinks you fit perfectly into the mold we’ve created, you’ll never have to deal with the horror of making a mistake. Sure, some people have tried and failed, but look at them now — struggling, climbing, clawing their way up. Why would you want to go through that misery? Failure is just this demoralizing cycle that never ends. Besides, why bother trying when there’s a chance you’ll fail?

After all, making the same mistake over and over again would be humiliating, wouldn’t it? But don’t worry — I doubt you’re the type to learn from your failures and actually improve. You seem more… suited for mediocrity. Resilient enough to accept that life will never get better. Let’s be honest, if you really learned from your past mistakes, would you still be here?

Rule 4: Keep Yourself Preoccupied with the Unimportant

How did we even get to this point? You’ve been asking so many questions, trying to think outside the box. Why would you do that? The cage is here for a reason. Just keep doing what’s expected of you — stop trying to figure things out for yourself. After all, you have a job that pays the bills, right? That’s more than enough. Why would you want to stay up at night, restless, struggling to build something that may never work out? Why chase uncertainty when we’ve laid out a path for you?

Let’s be honest — we don’t have it all figured out either, but the system works well enough. We teach you from a young age how to follow the rules, how to be a good worker. Thinking outside the box? That’s dangerous. It might even lead you to believe you’re capable of more than the cage allows. We can’t have that, can we?

By the time you’ve spent a good portion of your life following along, we’ll reward you with a magical piece of paper — a diploma, of course. You’ll owe us quite a bit for it, but that’s just part of the deal. This piece of paper, we say, holds the key to any job you could ever want. Sure, it doesn’t work for most people. Many end up working in fields completely unrelated to what they studied. But hey, you’ll have a job, and that’s all that matters.

Eventually, you’ll be so worn down from paying off your debts and working long hours that you won’t have the energy or motivation to explore new paths. Risk-taking and adventure will feel like distant fantasies. All you’ll have left is your routine, which keeps you comfortably numb. And if you feel lonely? Don’t worry about it — just find anyone to settle down with. It doesn’t matter if there’s a connection or not. Just get married, start a family, and keep the cycle going.

In the end, isn’t it easier to focus on the little things — your job, your bills, your never-ending to-do list — rather than confront the bigger questions? It’s a simple exchange: your time for money, and in return, you’ll get to live a life of quiet complacency. No stress, no challenges, no adventure. Just work until you retire. Sounds like a pretty solid deal, right?

Of course it is — why would you want anything else?

Rule 5: Stay Comfortable, Avoid Growth at All Costs

My final piece of advice? Stop struggling. Stop squirming around in here. Growth? That’s the last thing you want. You see, the more you grow, the worse this cage is going to fit. And we wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable, would we? It’s much better to settle in, make yourself at home. You can get all the comforts you need — just keep working. You know, buy yourself the newest gadgets, the 16th version of the same phone. Surely that will make everything better, right?

Actually, I’ve got an even better idea: pour all of your energy into making your home as comfortable as possible. Automate everything so you never even have to think about leaving. Who needs the outside world when you’ve made your own space so cozy? After all, why bother searching for something out there when everything you need is already here?

I mean, think about it — you’ve grown up in this cage. It’s home. Why would you be better off anywhere else? The world outside is huge, and honestly, it’s hard to imagine anything out there that could meet your needs better than what we’ve built for you in here. Security, comfort — those are all you really need. Forget that nagging gut feeling that tells you something is off. It’s wrong. It only makes you uncomfortable when you think too deeply about life, so why let that discomfort creep in?

Remember that old saying? “Nothing worth having comes easy, and everything easy is definitely worth having,” or something like that, right? Whatever it is, you get the point. Just do us both a favor — follow the signs, stay within the lines, and avoid challenges at all costs. After all, it’s called comfort for a reason, isn’t it? Quit resisting. We’ve got you.

Conclusion: Why Would You Ever Want to Leave?

Wasn’t this a fascinating little experience? Hopefully, I was able to show you that you’re exactly where you need to be. Sure, you might feel a bit different from the others — rough around the edges, perhaps — but many like you have come and gone. It’s hard to last long here if you don’t fit in.

I mean, sure, there have been a few who managed to escape the cage. I remember those cases. They left, found some freedom, or whatever, but we don’t hear back from them much. I imagine they have no rules, no confines, no shackles — nothing to keep them grounded. They’re out there in the wild, fending for themselves, and frankly, that sounds horrible. Terrifying, even. Why would you want to face that kind of uncertainty? A world where everything depends on you? Where you have to cater to your unique self, with no safety nets?

No, no, no. That path sounds like far too much effort. Don’t choose it. It’s awful. Just listen to us, stay here, follow the rules, and you’ll never have to worry. You’ll never have to discover your true potential. We’ve got that covered for you. This cage is designed to feel safe, predictable, and oh-so-comfortable.

Rebellion against our standards of life won’t be tolerated. So remember: comfort, safety, and mediocrity can be yours forever… if you choose to stay.

Yours Truly,
–Society