Where Do You Begin When Life Needs a Change?

The simple answer is: change everything

It is as easy as that. The first steps, of course, should be small and subtle — little things in your day-to-day routine. Nothing too grandiose or overwhelming; otherwise, it’ll scare or intimidate you. Take it easy getting started.

The idea is to condition your brain with a new form of dopamine — one associated with change and improvement. We are trying to rewire your brain to enjoy the novelty of embarking on something new and learning how to be more receptive to change.

This can be done in countless ways: waking up at a different time, changing what side of the bed you sleep on, or adjusting your eating schedule. Whatever it is, allow yourself to make a change and start with your routine. The monotony of consistency is what makes you feel trapped. Small increments in changing your daily life will start to have a compound effect over time if you keep it up.

In fact, that’s probably something you already know. I’m sure you’re all too familiar with how difficult it is to fix your sleeping schedule or develop a new habit. The idea behind “changing everything” is that change needs to be steady and consistent, with minor tweaks introduced regularly over time.

Now that we’ve addressed the obvious, you might be stuck on the “why” or the “when.” Frankly, in that regard, I can’t offer much help. That’s something you need to uncover on your own terms. As for the “when” — well, nothing is stopping you from starting right after you finish reading this article.

I can’t make grand claims or blanket suggestions that will apply broadly to everyone. The truth is that only you know when a change needs to happen. Often, it stems from a place of unhappiness. That’s the “why” for most people.

If happiness is indeed your inspiration for change, what’s causing the problem is likely tied to the fact that you’re not caring enough for yourself. You are unhappy because you are neglecting your needs and emotions in favor of what you deem to be the most “logical” path forward. Why do you think it’s called self-help? It’s you trying to help yourself.

This idea that the world will eventually put everything in place if you just keep going, like life is some kind of video game where perseverance alone unlocks the right path, is a false dream. Everything changes, yes, but you won’t change if you don’t start making changes.

I think this train of thought comes from hearing so many people talk about how miserable they feel — how their lives feel entirely out of control as if nothing is going right.

That’s a good place to start. If you aren’t in control of your life, who is? What is? A job? A family member? A significant other? Whatever it is, that’s your first problem. You can’t expect your life to go the way you want it to when someone or something else is in control.

Are you trying to drive from the passenger seat? And how is that working out for you so far?

This analogy of the car and the passenger seat can serve us in many ways. For instance, the first step is identifying who’s driving. The second step, which comes quite naturally, is deciding where you’re going. It’s hard to imagine trying to get somewhere without directions. And even if there aren’t specific directions, navigating based on a general idea of your destination is entirely acceptable.

But once that path is defined, or at least when you have a general idea, it would be difficult to make progress if you didn’t know the difference between left and right — or worse, if you started going south when you needed to go north. This is counterintuitive to the progress you were hoping to achieve.

Many people seem to believe that willpower or dreams alone are enough for the tides of life to shift over time. I struggle to put this into words because I’ve never really understood this mindset, even in myself.

Someone aspires to be an amazing photographer, for example, or to run their own coffee shop, but their current path in life has nothing to do with that goal — not even moving in that general direction. How does that make sense?

Sure, everyone has to start somewhere, and experience is something I’d never dissuade people from pursuing. But let’s be honest: in due time, the only way to progress toward that goal is by taking deliberate steps in that direction.

Let’s return briefly to the concept of taking care of yourself, as this is pivotal for change to start taking root. One of the many reasons you need to start taking care of yourself is that you must build trust and rapport with yourself. Without that trust, achieving significant goals becomes far more challenging.

The micro-changes we mentioned earlier — small risks you take daily — prove to yourself that you can survive and that these changes won’t break you. They help instill a sense of trust because you’re still in one piece even after tweaking your oh-so-sacred routine.

Once you start changing for the better and building trust in yourself, a compound effect begins. As challenges arise, overcoming them reinforces your belief in your capabilities. Using tools like trust, consistency, and routine effectively makes it hard to imagine your plans not aligning with your goals.

There’s nothing more to it: take the wheel and trust yourself. Consistently show up for yourself and make small progress in the direction you want to go each and every time. Then get good at forming habits or establishing routines built around your goals.

It’s really as simple as that. Just change everything. And without a doubt, you will start to change for the better.